Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Great! Amazing! Innovate! Huge!

Wow, it's about twelve hours after I read Steve Ballmer's Going Beyond and Delivering Results employee email and my orifices are still puffing out the smoke that was so deeply loaded into them.

Talk about a 100% rah-rah content-free blah-blah-blah feel like I'm being sold a bunch of numbers disconnected from reality just what did we ship anyways rambling must stop email. It makes me want to fire up a Perl script just to count the superlatives that make up, it seems, half the content of the message. But as you all know, I'm too lazy to do that, so how about me typing interesting words as I scan through the text of the message:

Innovating! Amazing! Huge! Unbounded! Innovation! Rocking! Incredible! Impressive! Super critical! Huge! Amazing! Innovate! Innovative! Powerful! Huge! Innovation! Breakthrough! Phenomenal! Innovation! Strong! Great! Innovating! (then it takes a moment for reasonable writing.) Incredible! Amazing! Superior! Exceeding! Delighting! (Linux stories - yeah, those are fun.) Superior! Superior! Thanks! Incredible innovation! Drive! Passion! Innovation! Commitment!

I thinketh the CEO doth praise too much.

I want to be motivated. Like Mulder, I want to believe. Only this case instead of a UFO poster I have a picture of a happy smiley Ballmer with all these exclamations shooting out of his mouth. But I feel kind of down after reading this email. It's as if a good friend has just tried to manipulate me and my understanding of reality and they're standing in-front of me, smiling, waiting for my acquiescence.

I can only guess that this is laying the stage for the Financial Analysts Meeting coming up at Microsoft this Thursday. Oh, if I could only get there in time to put up all sorts of questions these analysts need to be drilling Microsoft about. But I'm hoping that crowd is bringing both hip waders and BS detectors and won't be shy to call BS.

We'll see when their write-ups start appearing later in the week.


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